anxiety is like a rapid spreading cancer. but instead of infecting one part of your body and then the next like cancer, anxiety infects one part of your life, and eventually overflows into another part and so on and so forth until it leaves you completely consumed in your paralyzing worries.
this has been my experience. i have gotten better as i have gotten older. i have picked up a lot of coping skills and maybe a serotonin inhibitor along the way to smooth the road. but i will admit that sometimes there are unforeseen hazards and i am left totally mind fucked.
lately the stress has been getting to me. i have a lot on my plate right now. but i have learned that the best way to cope with the worry blues is to practice mindfulness. to be mentally present in the activity at hand AKA living in the moment. i have learned to make distractions for myself. to get out, to walk farther, to write better, to accomplish more.
anyways, yesterday i took mick to a park in cow bay to look at the creepy willow trees. they don't look like they should be from around here. they are beautiful and wise and make me feel very, very young.
i guess nobody gets to raking the leaves here. ahh they will just turn to sludge and then mud and then dirt anyways. what's the point?
sometimes i look at a field and pretend the green is actually an ocean. i can convince my mind of it almost every time.
next stop, cow bay beach.
liking to get out has turned into needing to get out. stuck in this tunnel vision place get's to my head fast. but things will be turned around soon enough.
i hope, i hope, i hope. don't you love saying something so many times it loses it's meaning completely?
i am a happy person most of the time but sometimes i lose sight of the good and i get all negative nancy. (which is seriously almost as bad as a downer debbie)
the stresses of life are always going to be there and sometimes they can be pretty overwhelming. everybody knows that. and i tell myself that the way i feel right now is not the way i am going to feel for the rest of my life.it's all temporary, people.
4 hidden chameleons:
Amazing photos Krista, the first one is a great shot :) I like your description of anxiety and hope that the stress wears off a little for you. You're right, it's just temporary :)
It's finally hitting me just how temporary everything is. Mostly because I'm watching how quickly my kids are growing.... I can hardly lift my daughter anymore. I never wanted THAT day to come... but she's also reading to me now, so it all balances out. I need to remember to live in the moment, too. It's hard. I hope things get easier for you soon.
Live in the moment.
I forget to do that sometimes.
My girlfriend suffers from the same thing. She takes 5-htp and it balances her out. It's similar to what you're taking. Try it if you need something different. It's at any walgreens/cvs and is labeled as a vitamin. I like your writing and I wish you the best with your anxiety, I have seen first hand how it can hurt and you have my well wishing.
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